19: A Goal I Am Working Toward

A couple of years ago I decided it was time for me to seek help when it came to my anxiety and depression. I was at a very low point in my life. I had moments in my day where I was so scared for my well being. I never acted out or hurt myself, but I was afraid of the possibilities, the uncertainty, and the instability. I remember calling my mom one night, because I was so terrified. She calmly encouraged me to reach out to my primary doctor.

I talked with my doctor who laid out options and suggestions. I started an antidepressant that basically sedated me. Then we switched to something else that I was content with. But with the decrease of anxiety and depression came an increase in weight. After talking with others who had taken the same medication and consulting my doctor, I found out this was quite common while taking the medication.

After some time, I was very unsatisfied with the weight gain and noticed I had a hard time concentrating. It was as if my voice disappeared as well. If that wasn't already discouraging, the increased weight gain caused other medical concerns that had not been present before. I knew it was time for something to change.

My doctor referred me to a professional who has been working with me to find the right combination of medication to treat my anxiety and depression. I believe I am in a good place right now, but my other health concerns and weight gain are a major issue for me now.

I started using an app called Lose It to track my food and calorie intake. A friend introduced me to this app in the spring. I used it for a month or so but figured my life was too crazy to keep up with the details.

Last week I opened the app after months of ignoring the notification reminders. I have been using the app for almost two weeks, and I have already lost some weight. I have not set a definite goal for my weight loss, but I want to become more comfortable in my body. It is hard for me to see myself where I am at now and choose to love the body I am in.

Honestly, I do not want to have a medical procedure or join a diet program for weight loss. I want to do what is healthy for me and find out what will make me feel empowered to shed some weight.

All of this is to say that a goal I am working toward is loving the body I am in and getting back to a healthy state of mind.

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