Kari's Love Life???
Yesterday I ended a "relationship" with a man. Only a handful of people know about him. So if you are shocked after my first sentence, I'm sorry...
I knew before anything started to progress with this guy that it was not going to be a good thing for me.
This relationship was filled with mixed signals, unclear intentions, and broken communication. In the heat of the relationship, I was so caught up in the little amount of attention and good things that he was giving me to notice that I was doing all the pursing in our relationship. I believe that I kept telling myself maybe he would change, maybe he would see that he needs to pursue me more.
I even confronted him by saying he wasn't pursuing me. His response was that he was, and then he listed all of these things he did to pursue me. Then he asked how I wanted him to pursue me, but all I could say was that I think that is something he needs to decide.
I haven't been in many relationships. Most of them have been out of the ordinary, and not a whole lot of people have known about them. I guess I just haven't seen the need to exploit my love life to the world, especially since I seem to not have a clue of how to "be" in a relationship.
I'm usually that friend who can give great relationship advice because I'm an outsider who can understand what is going on in the inside. But when it comes to my own relationships, I can use all the help I can get.
I hung up the phone after ending things with this guy, finished baking some chocolate chip cookies, and began to wash the dishes. While rinsing off a cookie sheet, I realized that only God truly knows my heart.
Only God can love me more than any man ever could. Only God knows how to relentlessly pursue me.
The older I get, the more time I spend investing into friendships and relationships. The more time I spend invested in individuals, the more I open and give from my heart.
My heart is fragile.
My heart wants more than a guy who barely pursues me, or a guy who tries to love me the way Hollywood depicts it, or a guy who sees me as something less than who I really am.
I am God's daughter. I am His chosen princess. I am His.
And if a guy can't see this in me, then I hope I won't be clouded by the artificial love he gives me.
I deserve more than that.
I didn't think I'd cry over this guy. I mean, he's not really worth it. But as I try to finish this blog post, I can't keep the tears from coming.
I feel heart broken. I feel like a fool. And I feel like I wasted my time.
But I am going to trust that there is and was a purpose for all of this. God knows His plans for me (and my love life...).
I knew before anything started to progress with this guy that it was not going to be a good thing for me.
This relationship was filled with mixed signals, unclear intentions, and broken communication. In the heat of the relationship, I was so caught up in the little amount of attention and good things that he was giving me to notice that I was doing all the pursing in our relationship. I believe that I kept telling myself maybe he would change, maybe he would see that he needs to pursue me more.
I even confronted him by saying he wasn't pursuing me. His response was that he was, and then he listed all of these things he did to pursue me. Then he asked how I wanted him to pursue me, but all I could say was that I think that is something he needs to decide.
I haven't been in many relationships. Most of them have been out of the ordinary, and not a whole lot of people have known about them. I guess I just haven't seen the need to exploit my love life to the world, especially since I seem to not have a clue of how to "be" in a relationship.
I'm usually that friend who can give great relationship advice because I'm an outsider who can understand what is going on in the inside. But when it comes to my own relationships, I can use all the help I can get.
I hung up the phone after ending things with this guy, finished baking some chocolate chip cookies, and began to wash the dishes. While rinsing off a cookie sheet, I realized that only God truly knows my heart.
Only God can love me more than any man ever could. Only God knows how to relentlessly pursue me.
The older I get, the more time I spend investing into friendships and relationships. The more time I spend invested in individuals, the more I open and give from my heart.
My heart is fragile.
My heart wants more than a guy who barely pursues me, or a guy who tries to love me the way Hollywood depicts it, or a guy who sees me as something less than who I really am.
I am God's daughter. I am His chosen princess. I am His.
And if a guy can't see this in me, then I hope I won't be clouded by the artificial love he gives me.
I deserve more than that.
I didn't think I'd cry over this guy. I mean, he's not really worth it. But as I try to finish this blog post, I can't keep the tears from coming.
I feel heart broken. I feel like a fool. And I feel like I wasted my time.
But I am going to trust that there is and was a purpose for all of this. God knows His plans for me (and my love life...).
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