My Progress Report - October 14, 2012

I am beginning to think that self-discovery is something I will never fully reach. There is always something new that I learn about myself. I used to think that maybe once I was living out my calling, or when I was married, or when I was in college, that I would have a solid understanding of who I am. Now, I don't think that's so true for me. Once I feel like I have a good understanding of who I am, my purpose, and why I was created the way I am, something changes.

This year I began to realize that the more I know about myself, then the more I know about God. (Or maybe it's the other way around...) I know that I will never know everything about God. He is so vast and beautifully overwhelming. Maybe that's why I will always continue to discover just who Kari is.

But there are those moment when Satan likes to trip me up. He feeds me lie upon lie about my identity: "You're not worth it. You're not beautiful. No one loves you. Why don't you just give up?"

You know what, Satan? I flip the bird to you!

I know my true identity is found in the Word; it's found in Jesus.
I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me. --- "We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him." - 1 John 5:18

I am whole.
I am new.
I am a daughter of the Most High God.
I desire to be pure and holy before the Lord.


Last spring I was wrestling with the thought that I am broken. When you think that you are broken, sometimes Satan can convince you that you can never be healed or made new. That's what happened to me. I started to believe that I couldn't accept the love, grace, and forgiveness that God provides.

Can I just tell you that this leads to a very dark and lonely path that sucks?!

For months this year I began to question if God was real. I began to question if having faith in Him was worth it, or if I was just making a fool out of myself.
And now, I'm going to humble myself and admit that I'm still struggling with this. Is this something all Christians face, or am I alone? Because I feel alone...

I guess the only thing that is keep me sane, keeping me from dropping out of a private Christian college, keeping me from having my fifth mental breakdown in the past five months, is my Bible.

For example, just tonight I read Psalm 107. This chapter is filled with situations (struggles) that God's people faced. Four separate times in this chapter it says, "Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress."

Okay, I get the hint, God. :)


"Bearing your circumstances bravely---even thanking Me for them---is one of the highest forms of praise." - Jesus Calling, October 14th

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