Another "God Moment"
Yep, I had another one.
I had a pretty rough week. I travelled back to Minneapolis, I moved into an apartment, I spent hours applying for and looking for a new job (still haven't found one), I started classes for my senior year, and I was extremely emotional.
I wasn't myself, and I was horrible to my roommates. I would spend what little alone time I had thinking about how controlled I was by something that wasn't me. By Friday night, I was spent. Sadness (even depression) was starting to take over my body.
You might think I'm exaggerating, but it's all honest.
That night I was exhausted. I wanted to go to bed but I didn't want to go to sleep feeling that way. I cried and cried. Finally, I just sat in a chair and waited for one of my roommates to come home.
She could tell I was unhappy and tired of being controlled. She also knew that I had been crying, and she wanted to make me feel better.
So we went to my favorite coffee place, got my favorite drink (Thai Latte), and went to Chilly Billy's for frozen yogurt. It was great. I felt such a release from my body. I was able to be me for the first time in a week.
It also helped that I was finally able to open up to my roommate (who happens to be one of my closest friends) about how I had been feeling and what was going on with me throughout the week.
It was after midnight by the time we got back to the apartment. I decided to do my devotional before going to bed. Here is what I read for August 31st from the book Jesus Calling:
"Grow strong in your weakness. Some of My children I've gifted with abundant strength and stamina. Others, like you, have received the humble gift of frailty. Your fragility is not a punishment, nor does it indicate lack of faith. On the contrary, weak ones like you must live by faith, depending on Me to get you through the day. I am developing your ability to trust Me, to lean on Me, rather than on your understanding. Your natural preference is to plan out your day, knowing what will happen when. My preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting Me to guide you and strengthen you as needed. This is how you grow strong in your weakness."
DING DING DING!
I knew it was God. How do I know? Because this word was exactly what I needed. It spoke an abundance of truth to my heart and what I was facing that week.
You might be lost at this point and not really understand why I needed to read this or why I've been so messed up lately, but this is also something I am trying to figure out.
What I have been learning the past few days is that it is perfectly pleasing to God for me to be weak. How wonderful is that??!
Today in church, my pastor preached from 2 Corinthians. He referenced verses nine and ten in chapter twelve.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
It has only been one week since moving back to NCU, and I already feel like I've concurred a mountain.
I had a pretty rough week. I travelled back to Minneapolis, I moved into an apartment, I spent hours applying for and looking for a new job (still haven't found one), I started classes for my senior year, and I was extremely emotional.
I wasn't myself, and I was horrible to my roommates. I would spend what little alone time I had thinking about how controlled I was by something that wasn't me. By Friday night, I was spent. Sadness (even depression) was starting to take over my body.
You might think I'm exaggerating, but it's all honest.
That night I was exhausted. I wanted to go to bed but I didn't want to go to sleep feeling that way. I cried and cried. Finally, I just sat in a chair and waited for one of my roommates to come home.
She could tell I was unhappy and tired of being controlled. She also knew that I had been crying, and she wanted to make me feel better.
So we went to my favorite coffee place, got my favorite drink (Thai Latte), and went to Chilly Billy's for frozen yogurt. It was great. I felt such a release from my body. I was able to be me for the first time in a week.
It also helped that I was finally able to open up to my roommate (who happens to be one of my closest friends) about how I had been feeling and what was going on with me throughout the week.
It was after midnight by the time we got back to the apartment. I decided to do my devotional before going to bed. Here is what I read for August 31st from the book Jesus Calling:
"Grow strong in your weakness. Some of My children I've gifted with abundant strength and stamina. Others, like you, have received the humble gift of frailty. Your fragility is not a punishment, nor does it indicate lack of faith. On the contrary, weak ones like you must live by faith, depending on Me to get you through the day. I am developing your ability to trust Me, to lean on Me, rather than on your understanding. Your natural preference is to plan out your day, knowing what will happen when. My preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting Me to guide you and strengthen you as needed. This is how you grow strong in your weakness."
DING DING DING!
I knew it was God. How do I know? Because this word was exactly what I needed. It spoke an abundance of truth to my heart and what I was facing that week.
You might be lost at this point and not really understand why I needed to read this or why I've been so messed up lately, but this is also something I am trying to figure out.
What I have been learning the past few days is that it is perfectly pleasing to God for me to be weak. How wonderful is that??!
Today in church, my pastor preached from 2 Corinthians. He referenced verses nine and ten in chapter twelve.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
It has only been one week since moving back to NCU, and I already feel like I've concurred a mountain.
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