"When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him." - Elisabeth Elliot
Forgive me, O Lord,
when I glorify the flesh
and forget Your way.
----
My life has been turned upside down since I came back from Uganda. Last night I couldn't fall asleep until after 4am. This haiku was written as I laid in bed consumed with thoughts of Uganda, the future, and how I have been running on self-righteousness since I returned.
While I was in Uganda it was easier to trust in God because I was in a (somewhat) unfamiliar place and I had no expectations about what my internship at CRO would be like. I HAD to rely on God and His provision for my time there. Without Him, I would have failed tremendously.
Now that I'm back in the States, my routine has been nuts. There is no consistency in my life, and therefore, I'm losing touch with my Creator. I mean, how do you prioritize when your days consist of work and sleep (to recuperate from working)?
I'm worn out.
The American lifestyle is too much for me now. Ha! I don't know if I can do the fast paced, get everything done right away, and be the best lifestyle anymore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I miss my home---I miss having God as the center of my heart and feeling alive in the place God has called me to.
I miss Africa.
when I glorify the flesh
and forget Your way.
----
My life has been turned upside down since I came back from Uganda. Last night I couldn't fall asleep until after 4am. This haiku was written as I laid in bed consumed with thoughts of Uganda, the future, and how I have been running on self-righteousness since I returned.
While I was in Uganda it was easier to trust in God because I was in a (somewhat) unfamiliar place and I had no expectations about what my internship at CRO would be like. I HAD to rely on God and His provision for my time there. Without Him, I would have failed tremendously.
Now that I'm back in the States, my routine has been nuts. There is no consistency in my life, and therefore, I'm losing touch with my Creator. I mean, how do you prioritize when your days consist of work and sleep (to recuperate from working)?
I'm worn out.
The American lifestyle is too much for me now. Ha! I don't know if I can do the fast paced, get everything done right away, and be the best lifestyle anymore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I miss my home---I miss having God as the center of my heart and feeling alive in the place God has called me to.
I miss Africa.
Kari, thank you for being so vulnerable and honest with what you're experiencing in your life now. Although your heart is still in Africa and you have to deal with all the busyness of the American culture now, you don't have to be restless. You don't have to fall into the microwave patterns of everyone else around you. Satan knows that being in this place disheartens you, and he will do anything he can to avoid having you at peace. The cool thing is that God doesn't have just one home. He isn't just in Africa. He's here now, amidst the craziness, and He desires for you to find rest in Him where you're at. Cry out to Him and He will answer. He is CONSTANT.
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